The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
