he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
