wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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