So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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