I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
