Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
