Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
