i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
