It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
