i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
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That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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