You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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