my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
