I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
