He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
