so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
