i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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