honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
