Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
