I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
