I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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