My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
