you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
