More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
