i wish my penis had a tongue
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we should paint friendship bongs
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