some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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