dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
