I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
