I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
