Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
