Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
