jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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