why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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