Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
