I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
