awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Boobs are out for the taking
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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