How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ttyl tear gas
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
