I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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