even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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