I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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