I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
