we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize