Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
