What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
