ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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