she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
How external is "for external use only"?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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