Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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