the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
