did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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