Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
