I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
