I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
