So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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