brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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