you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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