i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
