did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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