TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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