and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
