is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
