It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize