Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
