forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
