come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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