what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
