Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
4 words: hood of his car
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
