its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
