Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
