you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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