if i can run in heels then i can drive
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
